It's quite a change to be there with the two girls! About halfway through, I had made up my mind that we should not take the girls with us again until they are better able to sit silently and for the 1 1/2 hours. Not only because I was not able to concentrate as much on the speakers and my own thoughts, but also because I want to be sensitive to the feelings of the moms that have recently lost their babies; those there for the first time. I would bet almost everything I have, that the last thing most of them want to see and hear is another child.
So, just when I thought my mind was made up to make this an adult-only event, Makenzie says something like this after the balloon release, as we're watching them fly up into the air, "Mommy, those balloons are for Madeline." And I can't answer her because I'm all choked up as it is (but even more so hearing her sweet voice say those words), with my sunglasses on so she doesn't ask me why I'm sad (one of her favorite new words). Luckily, my response didn't need to be very long and I was able to get out a, "that's right, baby." Then as we're walking to the car, she says, "Madeline has her balloons." And as we're driving home, "I want to go see Madeline." And then today, "Does Madeline still have her balloons?"
Now I realize, I can't not take them. I can't deprive them of this memory they can connect to their big sister. So, next year we'll take them and instead of sitting on the end of a middle row, we'll sit on the end of a back row. One day, oh one day, we'll be front and center!
Here we are by the tree where all the ornaments hang during the ceremony.
Makenzie making Brinley laugh.
Makenzie holding Madeline's balloons.
Ready to let the balloons go. Look at all the balloons! And that's not even all of them, I'm sure (as you can see, some people are still holding theirs). A great day, led by a great organization!
